Tortured by Rider's Comet with Persephone Page

Written and produced by Ronald Bell and G-Dawg Trading~ 

Title: Still Here Waiting for the Colors(Verse 1 – the low)
I wake up inside the same grey room
Ceiling presses down like wet cement
The air tastes like pennies and perfume
From someone who left three years ago, unspent My bones are full of concrete and rain
Every thought arrives already tired
I tell my hands to move, they just complain
Like they've forgotten how to be inspired (Pre-chorus)
And I remember when the lights were loud
When I could taste electricity on my tongue
Now the circuit's blown, I'm screaming to a crowd
That never showed — the silence won (Chorus)
I'm still here waiting for the colors
Still here counting heartbeats in the dark
Tried to outrun the black dog with my disorders
But it just learned to run beside my heart One more morning, one more cup of nothing
One more promise that I'll try again
Manic depression taught me bluffing
But God, I wish that lying hurt less when I'm still here (Verse 2 – trying to cope)
I make lists of things that used to matter
Cross them off like debts I'll never pay
Brush my teeth and smile in shattered
Mirror pieces — call it a good day I text "I'm fine" with shaking fingers
While the room spins slow like cheap red wine
I tell the mirror I've got this, but it lingers
That old familiar whisper: "You're not even trying" (Bridge – the tiny rebellions)
So I open the window even when it's freezing
Let the wind slap color in my face
I water plants that look like they're leaving
Sing off-key in an empty space I stay.
I stay when every nerve is begging "run"
I stay when the sadness feels like oxygen
I stay because some stupid part of me still
Believes tomorrow might let the light back in (Final Chorus – quieter, bruised but breathing)
I'm still here waiting for the colors
Not the manic blaze, not the blinding white
Just a soft gold hour, just a few less hours
Where the weight lifts enough to feel alright One more morning, cracked but never broken
One more breath I didn't want to take
Manic depression — you haven't spoken
The last word yet… I'm still awake I'm still here (Outro – almost whispered)
Still here.
Still here.
Still...